Navigating the Lonely Middle of a Rewire: Isolation to Community
Starting a Rewire—a phase where you're rethinking your career or life direction—can feel like a solitary journey. This is a period focused on understanding your purpose and charting your path, so it makes sense that you have to do some work by yourself.
What’s less expected is how lonely and isolating the whole process can be.
Why does this happen? Let's unpack the journey and talk about how to navigate it.
Leaving Behind Your Daily Dose of Connection
One of the initial challenges is the loss of your daily network. At your previous job, school, or organization, you were part of a community. The small moments of connection—the colleague inquiring about your sick pet, the manager who knew you were working on public speaking and dropped you a note about the presentation you nailed —these interactions made you feel seen, heard, and valued.
Once you move on, you step out of the day-to-day fabric of these people's lives. Engaging requires extra effort, and amid their busy schedules, many fail to maintain the connection. It’s not personal, they just continue to move forward in a reality that doesn’t feature you as a central player anymore.
Side note: It's surprising to see who keeps in touch and who doesn't after you leave a job. Some former colleagues might reduce their interaction to a 'like' on LinkedIn when you get promoted, while others may reconnect when contemplating their own transitions. In a couple of years, keep an eye on who reaches out to get your perspective from ‘the other side’!
Why You Can’t Just Find ‘New People’
On the flip side, forging new connections during a rewire is tricky.
It’s like when you’re job hunting and could apply for ten different roles across industries so when someone asks you how they can help, you have no clear-cut answer to offer. So they aren’t able to make any introductions or offer leads because your future is hazy.
When you don’t know what direction you’ll ultimately head in, it is hard to find common ground.
While you could attend dozens of conferences, join every networking group and hit the happy hour circuit, that could feel overwhelming. And all those people you meet - they are going to ask you what you do (or at a minimum what you’re looking to do).
Not having an answer puts you in an awkward spot.
You're Not Alone On The Path
If you're in the awkward, messy middle—disconnected from old colleagues, hesitant about networking without clear direction, waiting for a success story to emerge before sharing any news, clinging to an old identity—it's important to recognize you're not alone. This feeling of being stuck in limbo is normal, and it's a shared experience by many undergoing a Rewire.
Amidst these transitions, shame often surfaces. We doubt our choices, feel unsure, and consequently, stay silent. This silence breeds isolation, as we lack discussions around these common but rarely shared experiences.
I've been there. Mid-pandemic, I left my corporate job and found myself isolated, disconnected from former colleagues, uncertain about networking during my period of exploration. Unsure of how to articulate this phase, I chose to opt out and not talk to anyone (just about!), for nearly a year.
Your Tribe - Hiding in Plain Sight
If this sounds familiar, I see you. This journey through the messy middle doesn't have to be a solitary path. Our Rewire crew is here to remind you that it's okay to be in transition, to not have all the answers yet. We navigate these phases together, sharing our stories and supporting each other in moving towards a more connected, fulfilling future.
Navigating a Rewire is about embracing the transition, understanding the temporary nature of isolation, and taking steps toward reconnection and clarity. Remember, it's a journey we can undertake together.
PS. If you’re looking for a tribe to walk this path with - check out the Rewire Collective, a new community for women!