Does It Take an Obituary to Really Think About Your Impact?
Making Friends with Mortality
There’s an old adage that on their deathbed, people never say, “I wish I had spent more time in the office.”
Instead, they often wish they had taken more risks or spent more time with family.
This wisdom resonates deeply with me because I’ve thought a lot about death—mainly because my sister died in her 30s. Her passing forced me to confront how I wanted to perceive my life, especially if it were to be cut short abruptly.
Losing my sister early made me confront some big questions:
Was I proud of the life I was living?
If there were things I was putting off, could I do them now?
How many more years could I give to something I was lukewarm about?
Was I hiding parts of myself that would be good to share?
Because of all this, I’m now comfortable talking about death. My estate lawyer always emphasizes that my passing will be a long, long time from now. She doesn’t need to do that. I want to be ready and at peace, no matter when the final moment comes.
I don’t want to put off the things that matter for some future chapter because I’m not certain there will be more chapters. I hope so, but it’s not a given.
Writing Your Own Obituary: A Fun (Not Really) Exercise
While on sabbatical, I thought about writing obituaries for people as a way to reflect on their lives and legacies. What I learned quickly is that most people want nothing to do with their obituary or this thought exercise.
Maybe because we’re afraid the page will reflect that we didn’t do as much as we could have. We think there will be more time, and that future us will be braver and bolder. But future us is usually a lot like current us unless we intentionally carve a different path.
Time itself doesn’t change us; our actions do.
Little Moments, Big Impact
Legacy isn’t always about big swings or headline-worthy accomplishments. It’s also about the small moments that matter every day.
When I think about my legacy, I see the positive impact I’ve made by helping others. As a mentor and boss, I’ve shown people new career possibilities. As a friend and partner, I’ve encouraged others to expand their thinking.
If capital-L Legacy is daunting, think about these little-l moments:
If you help young people grow, you impact everyone they interact with.
As a boss or manager, you influence your team, their families, and friends.
If you build products or offer services, your users benefit from your ideas.
If you’ve written a word that helped someone, that matters.
Your presence and smile in your community create an impact.
Every like, comment, and share on social media validates another human.
Every small gesture—the birthday text, flowers for a friend, coffee for a stranger—matters.
Sharing your journey through challenges helps others learn.
Thinking about your legacy doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It’s about recognizing your impact in everyday moments and aligning your actions with the values and legacy you want to create.
Wherever your rewire journey takes you, we are here to support your journey. If you are looking for resources, tools, and a community of women walking this path, check out the Rewire Collective.